I'm a child psychologist and parent educator. My ChildSightTools® courses help parents see through kids eyes. Sign up for my weekly Newsletter!
Help kids through horrific news
GOOD DIRECTIONS
What to say when tragedy hits
Note: Given this week's events, I'm sending this early. It'll go out again Tuesday.
Hello to you all ...
Once again, horrible news. Kids hear things. With 24/7 news on every platform, they're going to find out.
We can't even bear it. And we don't know what to say to the kids.
There is no specific thing to do or say to fix it. Nothing can make the awfulness go away.
But a few things can help. Here's my list.
Ask what they've heard.
Don't assume your worries are the same as your child's. Kids' brains work differently.
Invite their thoughts like this:
- Tell me what you've heard
- Tell me about your worries
- What questions are in your mind?
Talk about past, future and present.
Worry and dread are about what could happen in the future.
So talk to your kids about yesterday which is over, unknowable tomorrow, and today.
Say, "Let's be here, right now, together and safe in today."
Mindfully guide your child back to the present moment.
As a provider and a person, I believe mindfulness is the greatest lifetime self-regulation tool.
One common method is Grounding. Look around for (or imagine) 5-4-3-2-1 things to see, feel, hear, smell and taste.
Teach breathing with fun.
Breathing is boring. Kids don't want to do it. It doesn't help (right away).
And yet, breathing IS what worried brains need most. Breathing calms the brain's smoke alarm, factually and physiologically.
My trick for kids' breathing: exhale first.
Check out Video 4 of my free course for details. Here are some memes it.
Finally, give help and comfort - to others.
Outside tragedies can make us feel helpless.
Helping others is an ACTION that grounds us in strength.
Guide your kids to be helpers in some small way:
- Help your kids draw/write a card to the affected place.
- Involve your child as you donate to a support fund.
- Do an act of kindness to anyone - we all hurt when tragedies hit.
My free parenting course is about parent/child co-regulation.
That means calming down together.
Check it out here for more memes and help with breathing.
Hope you're enjoying or enjoyed your holiday weekend.
And remember ... Looking through your child's eyes changes everything.
Cheers!
Dr. Beth
Let's connect! You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube.
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Hi, I'm Dr. Beth Onufrak!
I'm a child psychologist and parent educator. My ChildSightTools® courses help parents see through kids eyes. Sign up for my weekly Newsletter!
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